Balance on the Fold is a book of poetry written by Matt Lawver.  The theme of the book has to do with the balance our souls are in and the constant questioning of what will happen after we die (heaven or hell?) or what on earth is going on with our souls as we live day to day.   The songs are musical interpretations of the poems.  Below are some of the working demos.  The final versions will be release later this year.  Please see the Construction page for updates.

An Audio Evolution:  The Balance Sessions were originally recorded in Lost Angeles.  The supervising engineer was Marty Geimer who also lent his silky speedy hands for the guitar work on Thoughts of Regret.  After we got the final mix though... we decided to go back into the studio.  In California, our biggest problem was lack of time.  We did get some great takes put down though that would later find themselves in the final versions of the songs.

Leaving Dave, Marty, and the girls back in CA, Matt and I did some studio time in Phoenix.  Again, after the mix had time to stew  we still were not yet satisfied.   But time was up, and the Blood of the Dragon session work had started.   Balance was put on the backburner. After Blood was finished, as well as the Mutant project, I had some time to kill.  I slowly started back into the Balance archives while working on Heartstrings.  Currently, I am remastering the back catalog, from Oink Labs in Indiana.   Those sessions will  include this material.  So, God willing, there will be even new, more finalized versions of the songs here sometime in 2005. Below are my current working demos.  Be ready for some big surprises there as they evolve!

he who hunts the hunted

strikes out against the son

the son protects the wanted

from the evil one

 

when mercy versus power

the powerless go strong

to fight off all the emptiness

with the power of the son

 

the son that's born from deep within

and makes our night the day

also keeps our spirits strong

shows the path that lights the way

 

of power be a bad omen

the twists of fate shall churn

the hunter becomes the hunted 

in his invention he shall  burn

in the candlelight

the fire flickers

and the shadows of night

share their secret whispers

 

they run and hide

so as not to be followed

the shadows of night

plan our fates tomorrow

 

can you see?  can't you see?

why cant you see what I can see?

 

the truth in the heart of a lie

the light were only dark can survive

the way were no path is shown

the life when no body is gone

 

the evil behind a veil of trust

the love in the passion of lust

the secrets out in the plain of sight

the dark that lights the skies at night

 

like a ghost upon the walls

like she was never there at all

 

perfume still smells sweet

though the scent is incomplete

retrace her every step

only the memory is left

 

now she walks these haunted hall

like a ghost upon the walls

 

like a breeze she saunters past

feel her hands across my chest

her caress smoothes my soul

her absence is shakes me

she hides in the shadows depths 

sizing me with every breath

she stalks my every move

 

echoes fill my tears

though the words have disappeared

memories of distant years

silent, you take me there

 

in my mind here image stands

with my heart within her hands

white dress and a powdered veil

the pain is a living hell

 

 

we are gathered here today

to give our final blessing

to the man whom they say

has gone on to his final resting

the pain that we feel

can not be bought or borrowed

our wounds will heal

as memories fade into tomorrow

 

as I think back on his life

and all he had to offer

through the good times and the bad

a loyal husband, a steadfast father

his heart was filled with love

his soul salvation's laughter

his touch like a soothing rain

overflowed with wisdom's water

 

his journey has begun

it truly has not ended

his battle fought and won

faith never surrendered

he flies now in my mind

on angel's wings of glory

in the kingdom past heaven's gate

in all its grace and beauty

 

as the last words rang out

though the sound was hollow

all the people all cried out

their slow tears fill with sorrow

as we close our eyes and pray

to each his own remembering

let the final words we say

be from the heart and filled with meaning

 

amen

 

 

she pressed her hand to my heart

to feel the beat if it still repeat

or has it stopped cold like hardened steel

 

stopped cold like ice on the rail

or time in its tracks

stopped cold like the dead and the past

stopped cold

 

she leaned closer whispered in my ear

can you hear my voice? can you still hear?

have my words blown cold like hardened steel

 

blown cold like a winter chill

I'm frosted to the bone

blown cold with an artic blast

alone

 

she pressed her finger to my fainting lips

but they've gone numb they can't still kiss

they've gone ice blue like hardened steel

 

ice blue like the glaciers in hell

burning flames of denial

ice blue swimming the seas of betrayal

ice blue

 

she stared into my starry eyes

to see the color if I'd gone blind

but they've gone stone cold like hardened still

 

stone cold like the wounds that wont heal

shattered shards of glass

stone cold like a deep and dark abyss

alone

 

 

its the age of innocence

it the turning point in time

its the page first and last

its the power of the mind

 

can you sense it?

 

in the cold and freezing rain

the answers you must know

lies in the eye of the hurricane

in the window to my soul

 

can you see it?

 

not forsaken and not for sale

where the wind forever blows

at the very edge of the world

between the balance and fold

 

can you hear it?

 

lost in heaven's endless veil 

where the stars punch through the sky

in the heart of imagination

in the twinkle of the eye

 

can you see it?

 

in the mist of contemplation

when the clouds envelope the lies

the spirit of love's salvation

takes its wings and flies

 

can you believe it?

 

 

the hint of a whisper leaves a shadow of doubt

on wings of the wind within and without

crush of the vice with fists of steel cold 

heart of pure ice breaking the will

 

soul's sweet surrender to death's dark betrayal

destiny's companion to the brimstones of hell

the mazes of madness leaves the sight of the mind

endless pit of forever for the fate of mankind?

 

finger of God

the hands of time's gate

arms of destruction

fear's tight embrace

 

eyes of blind fury are the devil's disguise

a cold winding highway down the secrets of life

answers unknown to questions untold

paths unseen before us to the ways of the world

 

 

when the cold wind blows

down desperation's road

in the shadows death will follow

when the four horsemen come

galloping they'll catch your run

as your soul is swallowed

 

so ride the lighting through the tunnel of fire

feeling fears breath as it takes you higher

reaching the vault, hoping for salvations

unlock the door to find damnation

 

nightmares keep on spinning

past the bounds of control

wicked tricks somehow have cost me this soul

lost all hope and pity the fallen

lost to the dark of an endless dawn

succumb to pain it tortures realm

abandon hope, in silence drown

 

close your eyes and put your life in my hand

there's no dying if the dream never ends.

 

 

with a hard cold crash my broken heart his the ground

smoke and ash, burning embers all around

I beg for mercy take the knife and drive it home

the fiery blade twists into my dying soul

 

a hard cold crash, 

she's taking me down... down now

 

wicked games, selfless hate and no control

play with my mind, tortures tricks you know them all

dig your talons deep into my pounding heart

rip and tear, pull my worthless life apart

 

wrap your hands, tight around my gasping throat

squeeze and tighten, steal my breath from by breast

my life slips past, silent screams are all I give

taste in on your sultry lips and let me live

 

hit the ground... a hard cold crash

hit the ground... my dying soul

 

with a hard cold crash my broken heart hit the ground

shattered glass, broken slivers all around

 

 

in the mind of a madman is it madness that you find?

in the mind of a madman is insanity blind?

 

temptation leads to anger 

anger leads to hate

hate leads to imagination's

attempt at twisting fate

 

if you look into his sick and twisted mind

you'll find maze that winds and turns where its all justified

the burning light that leads the way the leads to a gloomy hate

which lures you to the sultry bed were temptation is always led 

 

fate leads strait to peril and peril to the pearly gate

when inside its peace you find leads strait to sanctity

with sanctity comes power and power is like a drug

drums will cloud will your simple mind now your completely lost

 

don't leap strait to despair your path will take you there

right after intuition and invention's affair

if you come across his path don't look into the eyes

nor try to solve his endless maze were all is justified

 

 

in the shadows of a distant land

the people move without a plan

blood flows and thieves run free

the people live there as you and me

 

in the shadows of a storm's eclipse

fleeting fortunes fall through finger's tips

silent echoes off a whisper's lips

strike the air as the thunder rips

 

in the shadows, shadows of light

they shall hide in the plain of sight

they shall be sought and never found

they may be caught and not be bound

 

with a vision create a plan

hone the skills of the son of man

teach the values of wrong and right

then walk the streets in the shadows of light

 

 

is your mind filled with thoughts of regret?

unanswered questions you can not forget?

what would have happened?  what could have been?

if only I'd gone back and did it over again...

 

did you find glory?  how bout that gain?

only headache, sorrow, and pain?

was the pressure to much, did you settle for less?

did you lose inspiration or become average at best?

 

was it all worth it, did you follow your dreams?

did you fly to the stars with those wings?

was the day you left home the day you died?

when you packed all your things did you leave them behind?

 

thoughts of regret should be left behind

seek our your vision

 

 

hear the playground ride the merry go round

see the rose in the world as it spins round

I dream of life lost in the rush

I reach for dreams I can not touch

she sends a message that turns no wrong

I gasp at shadows long after they're gone

 

within these boundaries I can not blast

her rose resides and forever lasts

a perfect pedals red shadow  is cast

perfume lingers on beauty's senseless acts

in the breeze she sings to me

on the sunlight, through the breeze

in the breeze she sings to me

a bed of roses a symphony

 

within memories not yet born

the seed is planted and the rose takes form

roses bloom within my mind

and endless garden no one can fine

 

pictured image to never touch

lips sweet whispers heart felt love

a skin so soft like satin peals

I've loved and lost within my world

it never withers and never dies

with me in death this rose will lye

 

 

like the wind blowing through the autumn mist I can feel my body fading

can you see the tide still rolling in?

pounding until heaven's shore are opened

I can feel the heartbeat of time ticking down my spine

 

in sadness my mind lays sill and quiet, I  can feel my body dying

this heart barely keeps this mind body living, can you see the tide still rolling?

pain; my only friend, my only feeling.  the autumn winds still blowing

all else is lost and forgotten, I can feel my sprit soaring

 

my limits pushed so very often but can you see my sprit broken

the pain subsides and is pushed aside as I can feel my body going

as the on rush of numbness comes setting in can feel my last nerves sparking

only the pounding of my heart is felt, pounding until the gates swing open

 

if death comes to take my soul that feels so lost in depression

I could die a thousand times with words left to right

I can feel the heartbeat of time ticking down my spine

I could have died a thousand time and still had no words left to right

 

all music copyright Producer Q 2003-2005.  All rights reserved.